Actually, I like moggies. Growing up with a cat-doting mother, I soon learned to love these cuddly bundles of fluff and vividly remember attending another little girl's birthday party, where I stubbornly refused to join in any of the party games, preferring instead to spend the entire party cradling a tiny black and white kitten in my arms. The kitten subsequently came home with us, being almost ready for being parted with its mother, and spent the rest of its spoilt, happy life with us, under the name of Badger, a name chosen to reflect the elegant white stripe down the centre of its tiny nose and its sleek black fur.
So I wouldn't dream of killing a cat. However, I was reflecting today how times have moved on and how, in many areas, our views of life and our ways of going on have become so much more varied and diverse. A friend came to lunch with me yesterday. On entering our living room (for the first time), she exclaimed on how tidy it was - and indeed our whole house and garden. It's true - I like things tidy. I also find it difficult to work in a cluttered environment and feel constrained always to tidy things up before embarking on any new task. This can be a curse, as it means I achieve less than others whose tolerance for mess and chaos is higher than mine, but at least it means I get to live my life in the kind of surroundings I enjoy and feel comfortable in.
My friend is different to me. Leaving me, after lunch, she announced that she was going shopping. Her husband was returning home from abroad; the book club were visiting that evening and it was her turn to entertain and to provide drinks and snacks; she was playing tennis at 5 o-clock. Her lifestyle is different to mine. She confesses that she is always in a hurry, always late for everything, that her house is muddley and untidy. But her agenda is full and her life hectic. Why not? My early upbringing had a huge focus on 'right' and 'wrong' - there were rules for everything. So in those days one of these options would have to be 'the right way' of doing things. These days there is room for all points of view. Well, no, (let's be honest) for many of them, although current fashions in British politics may have a decreasing list of what is considered to be 'the right thing'. However, one of us is untidy and a bit disorganised and achieves a lot, the other is tidy and enjoys the resulting peace and calm. No problem, we're all different.
Last week we visited family: two days' drive to stay with our daughter and son-in-law. Times have changed since the days when my own mother used to come to stay. For days before her visit I would torture myself with a hectic round of cleaning and tidying - if I didn't she would run her finger along the surfaces with a look of disapproval on her face when she found the hidden corners of dirt! She was no dragon, just a normal, caring mother of her generation - houses must be clean and tidy: it was just an accepted fact of life. Another non-negotiable fact was that the cake tin must always be full and meals on time. Again, her dutiful daughter did her best to oblige and still does - old habits die hard!
However, my daughter and son-in-law work very hard at their jobs. There is little time for extra housework in their busy schedules. Abandoning my mother's traditions, I told them in my very best 21st century enlightened mother's role: 'Don't you dare clean the house before we come - we can help with that if necessary when we arrive - you have enough to do already. Don't worry about special meals - we can help cook.' Hurrah! The age of tolerance has come and we are not all expected to live in the same way! There is more than one way of killing the poor mog!
When we arrived, we found - guess what! A spotless house, homemade cakes, a fridge full of our favourite things and a pre-planned menu for the week! My daughter is even tidier than I am! The only difference was the meal times - son-in-law now works so hard that dinner is served just before bedtime (well, ours anyway). But these days who cares?
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