Living in the Future

“Koffie verkeerd?” “Ja – jazeker!” I reply, accepting her offer of a mug of hot, milky coffee. She has anticipated my order – a sign of my regular attendance at this charming café at the heart of the town and conveniently situated just at the point where I am starting the journey home, laden with shopping bags. But it’s not enough. I have a routine, it’s true, but not a life here. I have outgrown my life here, tried all the options, enjoyed them for a while, but I’ve run out. What I have is good but it’s no longer enough. I want to move on.

So the endless discussions rumble on. When we retire, where shall we go? Back to our home country, of that we are sure, but where? Back to where we came from? Or back to where we spent the early years of our marriage, bringing up our young daughter, close to the seaside, in a gentle, relaxed part of the world that is also tempting for a laid-back retirement lifestyle? Shall we have a garden? A bijou patio garden, full of pretty pot plants but not too much to care for? Or one of those corner plots with room to grow our own veg? Should we head for a quaint cottage or settle for a modern home where we can at least have a few years of peace before we have to worry about its upkeep and repairs?

The future is a foreign country – unknown, uncharted and bristling with adventure. Although we are heading home to our countrymen who speak our language and think like we do about most things, we are heading for unknown territory and the details, the questions and the dilemmas fill every waking hour. One day there will be an end to all this. We shall live in the future. Our fate will be sealed and we will find ourselves in need of new topics of conversation. Daydreaming will be over and we will wake up to a very present reality.

How will that be? I have no idea. This transition stage of our lives drags on and on. It has become a way of life. We can no longer see beyond it. But one day it will be over. We must keep our eyes fixed on that point for one day it will come. The present will be past and then we will live in the future. It’s a sobering thought. We must be careful how we build that future. We may have to live in it for a long time.