Like a Breath of Fresh Air

Inspiration! Such a fragile commodity. Where does it come from and where does it go? As a trainee writer (for when is a writer not in training?) I find the question intriguing, frustrating, fascinating and impossible. That age-old affliction of writer's block infests my foggy mind, paralysing my best intentions. No matter how hard or long my pen wanders over the page it produces nothing I can be truly proud of. I write, yes, I form the words in my mind and transfer them laboriously to the page and at the end - I find nothing original, nothing really worth the label of creativity or freshness. Where has it all gone?

A breath of fresh air! A visit to old friends. Bliss! The familiarity, the camaraderie, the knowledge that I belong (even though I have gone away), that I am appreciated and in some measure understood brings a breakthrough. 'Luminosity' - the word hangs in the air. Ten minutes of 'speedwriting', unpremeditated, unpolished, careless but gloriously free! 'Luminosity' I write. 'Already I am captivated by the thought and I will write and see where the word leads me.' And so I put my pen fearlessly to the paper and write, serene, confident, poised, knowing that this time the words will come, they will arrange themselves oh so gracefully on the page and at the end I shall read them out, not falteringly but proudly, knowing that once again the writers' circle has worked its magic. Inspiration! The muse that had left me has taken me gently by the hand and led me back into its sweet influence. I wonder, will it last?

Inspiration. Maybe this is a mis-spelling. Maybe all the time we should have spelled it 'friendship'. Is this the missing key? To know I am loved. To be secure in the knowledge that I am approved, whether I write well or badly, whether my brain is foggy or clear as a bell. We all need this kind of inspiration and I am resolved to go where I can find it. We must leave behind the stagnant pools and head for fresh, sweet water that wells up out of new springs, wherever we may find them. My visit was temporary - a rich but narrow slice of my old life which cannot be sustained - but it has inspired me to redouble my efforts to search for fresh wells of life which encourage and sustain personal growth. They have dangled the prize in front of me again and I will press on in search of that glow, that luminescence that transforms life from frustration to success. Thank you old friends. The world needs people like you.