A Listening Ear

Is anybody out there? Of course, the internet is a special case. When I am blogging, or writing my journal for the online information service, I am contacting cyberspace – I am writing for Mr. (or Ms.) Invisible. I shall never know who’s out there reading, listening and taking it all in.

Not so in everyday life! I talk – to my husband, to my children, on the phone, or to the doctor… I know who is supposed to be listening – I can see them or I dialled their number and they were in. But are they listening?

Do you ever get that feeling – like you are the one who is invisible? Do you sometimes feel like you are talking into thin air? What does it take these days to get someone to really listen? It’s a rare treat and one that should be cherished these days. We are all so busy nowadays and even when we are apparently engaged in conversation with another human being our minds can be on another planet, planning our schedules, worrying about tomorrow’s meeting or simply daydreaming.

We had friends for dinner the other night. They were work colleagues, busy, busy people, younger than us and full of life. We sat around the table after work, eating, drinking, chatting and listening to a selection of music, trying to identify our similarities and our shared tastes. It was a good evening and we went to bed with a warm glow, from good food, good wine and congenial conversation. They were good talkers. More than that, they were also good listeners. A couple of days later we received a thank you note (how wonderful!) on a well-chosen card, bearing a picture of a beauty spot on one of our favourite stretches of coastline – another shared interest we had uncovered.

The card thanked us for the evening we had spent together and the ‘quality time’ we had all enjoyed. We had had a conversation that night: we spoke and they listened; they spoke and we listened – a simple formula that never fails. It’s a rare gift – the listening ear. We need to cultivate it… then all our time rapidly becomes ‘quality time’.